Naturally, I am a people pleaser
Ever since I can remember I always enjoyed caring for people and making sure people were good.
I have read that people pleasing and trauma are linked and I’m sure that also has something to do with my role as a people pleaser as well, but at the end of the day, I enjoy making sure people are good and making sure people feel good.
And that is why I made a career out of it.
However, I have learned that there is a thin line between giving to make sure people are good and giving from a space of fear of rejection, conflict, expectation.
The line is very thin, and it is important that we identify the place within ourselves from which we are giving.
As I grew older, I found myself doing and being there for others in a way that wasn’t healthy for myself.
I realized most of the time I was doing for others, not because I wanted too, but because I was scared of rejection, and I did not want to rock the boat and cause drama and conflict in my relationships.
Because growing up conflict is directly related to hitting, fighting, yelling, screaming.
Rejection meant that I am not liked and everyone wants to be liked….right?
Back in the day, I was a people pleaser. I wanted to fit in and was scared to stand out.
Scared of being rejected, disliked, unloved, being by myself, wrong.
Today, I am clear about what I want, and I am not scared to lose a single soul on my journey who does not align with my vision and mission.
I have been this way for last 10 years and I am not changing. I love it here.
Are you a people pleaser?
Do you struggle with putting others needs before your own, while your unhappy, depressed, exhausted, it is time to dead that poor man characteristic.
Why are others needs more important than your own?
It is time for you to speak up and be clear about what you want and your expectations.
It is important that you speak up and be clear about your expectations to the individuals on your team.
Your team could be your paid employees, volunteers, all those who you depend on and spend the most time with that is in your network.
Speaking up has its consequences, but you have to be stronger than any challenge that comes your way on your journey.
Average people don’t speak up.
They take anything that comes their way.
They have no standard.
You are not average.
Don’t let fear of rejection stop you from speaking up.
Don’t allow other people to manipulate you.
You will find that as you speak up, you will notice things about the people you call family and friends.
Some of those people may not like or love the new person you are becoming.
Others will reject you like the plague.
Those who reject you are mad because they don’t have the same access to you anymore.
They do like that.
They will begin to talk about you behind your back.
They will try to change your mind.
They will call you crazy.
They will try to keep you stuck as the same person you were because they fear the person you are becoming.
Speak up anyway!
It is time or you to be strong enough to release and let go of any job, relationship, habit, thought, that prevents you from being the person you want to be and reaching the goals you want to reach.
Speak up! Be clear! Be Bold!
Can you relate? Let me know in the comments.
Send me an email if you want my feedback on a specific topic.
Talk to you soon!