Why I Am Going Back To Therapy & Why You Should Go To

Hey now!

I am giving it another try, I am taking my butt to therapy……AGAIN!

I tried going in 2019, however, it did not work out. I attended about 3-4 sessions and after the therapist kept showing up late, I ended our relationship.

Quickly after that I quit my job and I could no longer afford therapy anymore or so I thought.

Did you know that Medicaid pays for therapy? Yes they do!

When I was working, my sessions were close to $100, and now that I have Medicaid, my sessions are FREE!

I plan on taking full advantage of these free sessions for sure.

I really enjoyed going to therapy. It was one hair where I could spend 1 hour with an unbiased person talking my issues and my problems.

The first session…as soon as I opened my mouth, the tears started flowing. Second session I was told that I had anxiety and the sessions did not last too much longer after that.

Now I am going back and I am determined to find someone I can connect with and who can really support me and give me the tools that I need to get out of my own way.

This time I am being more specific with my search. I don’t just want any therapist.

 This time I would like my therapist to be a minority, preferably Black, a woman, and someone older than me.

Studies show that a person who has a helping professional who look like them, has a greater chance of being understood and being helped.

My last therapist was my age.

I felt like she was too comfortable. She was so comfortable to the point where she would cuss in our sessions. I am a cusser, but I feel that the professional is always supposed to maintain a certain type of professionalism.

This time, I am not only being more specific in my approach I am being more specific in my healing.

DISCLAIMER: I believe that every living person should see a therapist at least once. Commit to a few sessions and see what comes up for YOU!

The main reason I am seeking therapy this time around is because I suffered a great loss recently.

Grief is so crazy when dealing with a loss that is unexpected.

I didn’t think I would cry anymore since the last time I cried. I knew the thoughts would remain but I thought the emotional part was over.

I was wrong!

Literally 2 days ago I started crying and crying. I was cool. Then this song came on and I just busted out crying.

 That’s grief tho’.

I have to remind myself. It’s okay to feel emotions, but don’t stay in that sad place for too long.

I also want support in processing the fact that I “feel” I lost the last father figure I had.

I say feel because my “dad” is still alive but I don’t have the tools or will to rebuild that relationship honestly.

I think about  wanting to have a good relationship with my dad, but the relationship is inconsistent so I don’t know how to handle that.

I need help.

Last but not least, I need support in my relationships, platonic and romantic.

When it comes to communicating, intimacy, connecting.

 When you don’t have a relationship with the person(s) that birthed you.

When the people who gave birth to you literally neglect you and ignore you, it does something to you.

For me, to not feel that pain of the experiences I was dealing with in my life anymore I had to build BIG walls.

Walls that would support me in not feeling, reacting, or responding when I feel neglected, ignored, or any other emotion that does not make me feel good.

Those walls that I have built are now affecting the relationships that I am having as an adult.

It affects the self-talk that I have about certain situations.

It affect how I respond and react in situations and I believe that most of my thought could cease if I communicate but I don’t want to say the wrong thing in the wrong way sometimes.

If you know me personally you might say “No, not Nette.”

Most times I’m gone say what I want because that is how I was raised, but I really be sparing people man. Lol.

I don’t want to spare people and I don’t want to hurt people either, I just want to be heard and say what I have to say, in the most respectful way possible.

So that why I am going to therapy.

I want to show up as my best self every day and I know therapy will support me in doing that.

My first appointment is Monday!!

I am excited and I will surely be back to let you know how it went.

Are you someone who has experienced some form of trauma or have been involved in some type of drama that has affected you in a major way?

I encourage you to go to therapy!

Schedule that appointment.

It is time to take the necessary steps for you to heal so you can manifest the life you deserve.

Alright now.

Until next time…..

Why You Haven’t Started Your Business….Yet?

So you want to start a business?

Why?

It sounds cliché but a well thought out “Why?” determines whether you will have a profitable business or not.

Let me explain what I mean.

I have found that there are 3 types of business people in this world

  1. Those who are motivated by their purpose
  2. Those who are motivated by money
  3. Those who are not motivated at all

If you fall under the category of the unmotivated.

You probably aren’t reading this post right now, so I won’t spend much time here.

But what I will say is, if you are around an unmotivated adult, you can’t change them, but you can expose them to certain situations and experiences, if they are open to them, great. If not, move on.

Periodt!

If you are motivated by money. That’s cool.

However, I have found that people who are only motivated by money will either

Continue reading “Why You Haven’t Started Your Business….Yet?”

3 Ways to Pay Off Your Credit Cards

I don’t know about you but I hate debt.

It gives me anxiety.

I don’t like owing people.

I got my first credit card when I was 18.

My mom tried to warn me, but I didn’t listen.

At 18 I got every card I could think of and I maxed each one out.

I have paid that debt off since then, acquired more, and now I can say in the 2020, I was able to get all my credits down to less than $100 balance, during a pandemic.

In 2021, my goal is to maintain a low balance on my credit cards, while attacking my car payments. I also want to start attacking this school loan debt.

The golden rule is that you do not want your credit card to exceed 30% of the credit limit.

My goal is to definitely stay under that!

I was doing some research and I found that most people my age, 35 and under, have

  1. Student loan debt
  2. Credit Card debt

I know this was true in my life until I paid off my credit cards.

Today, I want to share what I did to pay off my credit card debt and leave you with some methods that can support you in paying off your debt as well.

Continue reading “3 Ways to Pay Off Your Credit Cards”

Celebrate Your Success

It’s Sunday so you know what that means….

Tarot time, one of my favorite days of the week!

Last week, the cards spoke to the fact that I am elevating to a new plane.

I am a BOSS and I have to stay focused on my strategy and keep my feet to the ground to manifest my desires.

At the same time, I was also called to rest and relax, letting me know that its possible to do both. I do not have to over exert myself when it comes to reaching my goals.

The overall theme for this week calls for me to celebrate.

Continue reading “Celebrate Your Success”

4 Ways to Financially Prepare for 2021

Happy Monday!

As I reflect on my financial goals

Where I came from, where I am currently, where I want to go.

I can honestly say that I see a lot of growth.

I came a long way!

One of the major realizations that I have had is that managing and growing your finances is all about your mindset.

You really have to go from a mindset of poverty, lack, and instant gratification to a mindset of wealth, abundance, and patience, especially when you come from where I come from.

This journey is easier said than done.

Most people who are mentally living in a state of poverty are

  1. okay with it  
  2. don’t even realize they living in it

Managing and growing your finances is also about ACTION!

Continue reading “4 Ways to Financially Prepare for 2021”

5 Questions to Support You in Identifying Your Life’s Purpose

11.23

Happy Monday!

Over the weekend I had the opportunity to host a “Breakfast and Visions” with a group of dope Black entrepreneurs and community leaders from the city of Wilmington, De.

I love hosting those type of events because it gives me the opportunity to support dope people in getting clear about what it is that they want to accomplish in their life and in their business.

I love it!

The conversations that we had during our transformational session, is what inspired this week’s blog post.

I know most of you who read my content are ready to live life on your own terms.

You want to do what you want, when you want.

You want to travel the world, start businesses, give back to your community, and live in peace!

I feel you.

I am with you.

For you to obtain the lifestyle you want, it is important for you to get clear on your Personal Mission Statement .

I am sure if you have worked for any organization, you have heard of a mission statement. It the statement that describes what the organization is about that you are associated with.

Your Personal Mission Statement is bigger than that.

Getting clear on your Personal Mission Statement will support you in making decisions in your life that align with your purpose and core values.

What is a Personal Mission Statement?

Your Personal Mission Statement describes 3 things

  1. who you are
  2. what you do
  3. why you do it

Your Personal Mission Statement helps you to identify your purpose in your life!

Here are 5 questions that you can ask yourself to support you in developing your Personal Mission Statement:

  1. What are my core values?
  2. Who do I serve?
  3. How do I make their lives better?
  4. What do I want to accomplish in my life?
  5. What am I passionate about?

Please remember when developing your Personal Mission Statement:

  • You must write It down
  • It should be no more than 2 sentences.
  • This is the first step in manifesting the life you desire
  • Share your vision with others

If you need support in getting clear on your life’s mission, please visit:

Antinettedevelops.com/work-with-Antinette

I am now accepting clients

Talk to you soon!

How Voting Directly Impacts You!

Happy Tuesday!

Today is election day in Delaware .

This election is more important than the presidential election.

The people who are elected into office locally, directly impact the systems that are in place that you personally come in contact with every day.

I’m talking about the school system, housing, healthcare, employment, unemployment, welfare. All that.

Now is the time for us to be involved in all aspects of society.

I had the privilege of having two friends run for office this political season.

One of my friends is running for City Council and my other friend ran to be on the school board.

It was an amazing experience to witness two young Black women fighting for important community positions.

The elections that I am discussing were not on the national news.

The elections weren’t publicized, but they were and are life changing.

This political season, by being an involved community member and seeing the community work together and vote, I was able to see

  • A March continue after the mayor wanted to cancel, because he was scared of the damage that it would do to downtown City of Wilmington.
  • A school district keep all their extracurricular activities because they were going to get rid of all the things that make school fun and not jail.

I also was able to see how

  • when you have certain people in office who don’t agree with your values, they can override how the community feels about certain issues if they have the power to do so

For example,

Your Mayor is a developer and he wants to build and tear down the community you grew up in and fine you for not being able to afford to fix your house that you been living in wayyy before he got there. And then when you cant afford to pay the fines, because you already can’t afford to fix up your house, he proposes, the city takes it away from you.

It’s crazy out here!

The only way a person can have the ability to do what they want to do in your environment, in your community, is if you let them.

And ignorance of what is going on out here is not an excuse.

If 2020 hasn’t taught you anything else, it had to teach you that being involved in your local community, especially if you are in environments that have low income and high crime is crucial.

The livelihood of you, your parents, and your children depend on your involvement in the systems that are in place where you live!

So VOTE! Be INVOLVED! Be the CHANGE!

Until next time!