Why I Am Going Back To Therapy & Why You Should Go To

Hey now!

I am giving it another try, I am taking my butt to therapy……AGAIN!

I tried going in 2019, however, it did not work out. I attended about 3-4 sessions and after the therapist kept showing up late, I ended our relationship.

Quickly after that I quit my job and I could no longer afford therapy anymore or so I thought.

Did you know that Medicaid pays for therapy? Yes they do!

When I was working, my sessions were close to $100, and now that I have Medicaid, my sessions are FREE!

I plan on taking full advantage of these free sessions for sure.

I really enjoyed going to therapy. It was one hair where I could spend 1 hour with an unbiased person talking my issues and my problems.

The first session…as soon as I opened my mouth, the tears started flowing. Second session I was told that I had anxiety and the sessions did not last too much longer after that.

Now I am going back and I am determined to find someone I can connect with and who can really support me and give me the tools that I need to get out of my own way.

This time I am being more specific with my search. I don’t just want any therapist.

 This time I would like my therapist to be a minority, preferably Black, a woman, and someone older than me.

Studies show that a person who has a helping professional who look like them, has a greater chance of being understood and being helped.

My last therapist was my age.

I felt like she was too comfortable. She was so comfortable to the point where she would cuss in our sessions. I am a cusser, but I feel that the professional is always supposed to maintain a certain type of professionalism.

This time, I am not only being more specific in my approach I am being more specific in my healing.

DISCLAIMER: I believe that every living person should see a therapist at least once. Commit to a few sessions and see what comes up for YOU!

The main reason I am seeking therapy this time around is because I suffered a great loss recently.

Grief is so crazy when dealing with a loss that is unexpected.

I didn’t think I would cry anymore since the last time I cried. I knew the thoughts would remain but I thought the emotional part was over.

I was wrong!

Literally 2 days ago I started crying and crying. I was cool. Then this song came on and I just busted out crying.

 That’s grief tho’.

I have to remind myself. It’s okay to feel emotions, but don’t stay in that sad place for too long.

I also want support in processing the fact that I “feel” I lost the last father figure I had.

I say feel because my “dad” is still alive but I don’t have the tools or will to rebuild that relationship honestly.

I think about  wanting to have a good relationship with my dad, but the relationship is inconsistent so I don’t know how to handle that.

I need help.

Last but not least, I need support in my relationships, platonic and romantic.

When it comes to communicating, intimacy, connecting.

 When you don’t have a relationship with the person(s) that birthed you.

When the people who gave birth to you literally neglect you and ignore you, it does something to you.

For me, to not feel that pain of the experiences I was dealing with in my life anymore I had to build BIG walls.

Walls that would support me in not feeling, reacting, or responding when I feel neglected, ignored, or any other emotion that does not make me feel good.

Those walls that I have built are now affecting the relationships that I am having as an adult.

It affects the self-talk that I have about certain situations.

It affect how I respond and react in situations and I believe that most of my thought could cease if I communicate but I don’t want to say the wrong thing in the wrong way sometimes.

If you know me personally you might say “No, not Nette.”

Most times I’m gone say what I want because that is how I was raised, but I really be sparing people man. Lol.

I don’t want to spare people and I don’t want to hurt people either, I just want to be heard and say what I have to say, in the most respectful way possible.

So that why I am going to therapy.

I want to show up as my best self every day and I know therapy will support me in doing that.

My first appointment is Monday!!

I am excited and I will surely be back to let you know how it went.

Are you someone who has experienced some form of trauma or have been involved in some type of drama that has affected you in a major way?

I encourage you to go to therapy!

Schedule that appointment.

It is time to take the necessary steps for you to heal so you can manifest the life you deserve.

Alright now.

Until next time…..

3 Ways to Pay Off Your Credit Cards

I don’t know about you but I hate debt.

It gives me anxiety.

I don’t like owing people.

I got my first credit card when I was 18.

My mom tried to warn me, but I didn’t listen.

At 18 I got every card I could think of and I maxed each one out.

I have paid that debt off since then, acquired more, and now I can say in the 2020, I was able to get all my credits down to less than $100 balance, during a pandemic.

In 2021, my goal is to maintain a low balance on my credit cards, while attacking my car payments. I also want to start attacking this school loan debt.

The golden rule is that you do not want your credit card to exceed 30% of the credit limit.

My goal is to definitely stay under that!

I was doing some research and I found that most people my age, 35 and under, have

  1. Student loan debt
  2. Credit Card debt

I know this was true in my life until I paid off my credit cards.

Today, I want to share what I did to pay off my credit card debt and leave you with some methods that can support you in paying off your debt as well.

Continue reading “3 Ways to Pay Off Your Credit Cards”

Product-Based Versus Service- Based Business 2021

I started my own business in 2018.

I always knew that I wanted to start my own business, for many reasons.

In the beginning, I had many ideas but I didn’t know what I wanted to do.

One thing I knew for sure, I knew my business would involve me making money and helping people.

That is all I knew.

When I thought about the things that I was good at, every idea included me providing a service.

At the time, my thoughts were I am good at cooking and I am good at helping people.

At that moment, I decided that I would start a cooking business.

The Stand, the mobile food cart I founded in 2018. At The Stand, I provide the service of cooking food for my customers!

When starting a business, there are 3 types of businesses you can start.

You can have

  1. A service-based business. Which is a business that you create to sale your personal skills or knowledge.

I am skilled at cooking, so I started a business doing just that.

I went to school to learn how to help people identify their challenges to reach their goals. I now have a business doing that!

  • A product-based business.  A product-based business is when you sale a product to people for money.

You are not selling the service, you are selling the product itself.

For example, Apple has the product phones. Nike has sneakers. They have products.

  • A mixture of both. A business that provides a service and also has a product.

I am noticing that a lot of service-based business are going this route. Even myself, if you check out my store on my website, I have a few products their for sale.

I also like to think of Chic Fil A. You know they sell chicken but we also go there for that good customer service, and I know that I am not the only one that gets mad if Chic Fil A does not meet the standard of customer service that we are use to.

Whatever journey you decide to go on, you have to know that each journey has its strengths and weaknesses. I share few below.

When it comes to starting a business where you are providing a service, here are some strengths that I recognized

  • Low start up cost.

With my coaching business it didn’t cost me anything. My education was expensive but I didn’t know I wanted to be a “coach” when I was going to school for Social Work.   With my mobile food cart, I paid less than $10,000, and made my money back in 60 days. Great investment!

  • You directly get to see the impact you create

You get to see the smile on my customer faces. You get to see the needs of the community you serve. You get to see the beauty you create, the problems you solve, the lives that you change, directly.

I would say the weaknesses include

  • Its A LOT of WORK!

If you don’t do it then it won’t get done. Everything is on you. Don’t get me wrong, their systems that you can put in place that can support you in making your job easier, but at the end of the day it is all on you!

  • Hard to scale

When you are providing a business it’s hard to scale (grow) your business, especially as a service provider who is hands on and passionate about what you do. It requires a different level of thinking and different set of actions.

  • Unpredictable Cash Flow

Depending on the industry you are in the money could be funny in some months. Don’t be scared. Plan accordingly.

  • Always doing for others

You find yourself always doing for other. You provide a service, that’s what we do right. Well sometimes people get burnt out from serving. Sometime you have to take time to serve yourself.

The pros of having a product-based business

  • Ability to scale

You can grow your business more easily because you are selling a product. Once you have a prototype, you can just keep selling it, making sure the quality is the same.

Some cons that are I would say are associated with having a product based business are

  • Upfront investment

You need to pay for the product up front and you don’t know if the people will buy. That’s is a pretty big risk. Right? Do your research you will be okay.

  • Vendors

Most people tell me that finding a reputable vendor is challenging. Sometimes prices go up, packages get delayed, communication is a barrier. Finding and dealing with vendors can be a lot.

  • Customers

Customers can be a pain. Some of you probably chose this business model because you like money don’t really want to deal with customers and people like that. Well some things you just can’t get around. Customers can be crazy but you treat them right and they will treat you better.

If you are going to be a business that provides a service and offers a product, I would honestly say conquer one beast before moving to the next.

I am learning that now. And as I am conquering one beast, it is all starting to come together!

If you are starting your own business, I would love to know more about the journey you are deciding to take below. What is the name of your business? Do you provide a service or offer a product?

Alright now,

Talk to you soon!

4 Ways to Financially Prepare for 2021

Happy Monday!

As I reflect on my financial goals

Where I came from, where I am currently, where I want to go.

I can honestly say that I see a lot of growth.

I came a long way!

One of the major realizations that I have had is that managing and growing your finances is all about your mindset.

You really have to go from a mindset of poverty, lack, and instant gratification to a mindset of wealth, abundance, and patience, especially when you come from where I come from.

This journey is easier said than done.

Most people who are mentally living in a state of poverty are

  1. okay with it  
  2. don’t even realize they living in it

Managing and growing your finances is also about ACTION!

Continue reading “4 Ways to Financially Prepare for 2021”

How A Moms Vision Can Save Her Child(ren)

For the last two days we have been sculpting the answers to the following questions:

  1. What is your mission for your life?
  2. What is your vision for your life?

Your response to those two questions will support you in living in your purpose!

If you have not read the last 2 articles, please do so, after you get done reading this post.

Let’s get into it.

Continue reading “How A Moms Vision Can Save Her Child(ren)”

Boss Talk Coversations| Episode 5: Be willing to leave when you are not VALUED

The link to Episode 5 is below the text! Listen below NOW!

Episode 5: Be willing to leave when you are not VALUED  #BOSSup


Welcome to episode 5 of Boss Talk Conversations with your host Antinette
Where every conversation is focused on you BOSSn up in every area if your life
In this episode, I am totally transparent and I share the  incidents that occurred between my boyfriend and I that made me share this BOSS tip with YOU!
This lesson is not only valuable in romantic relationships but also in your work environment!
I share an example of how I used todays tip to BOSS up in my career as well.
The BOSS tip of episode 5 by the way isssssssssss (drumroll pleaasseee)
As the BOSS of your life,
You MUST be prepared to leave situations where you are not VALUED!
Yes its challenging but necessary to your growth and elevation
In this episode,
I also share the benefits that come with staying and leaving situations where your value is not respected.
I’ll share one with you NOW
1. Gives the other party the opportunity to see your value & vice versa
2. ?
3. ?
Todays BOSS talk conversation is all about letting you know that in order for you to BOSS up in your relationships, in your career, and in your life, you have to be able to let go of situations and relationships where you are not valued
Too many times, I find that we stay in situations and relationships for  FAR too long
Lets stop the traumatic cycle!
.
.
Lets engage:
Share a time when you left a situation where you were not valued
Share a time when you struggled with leaving a situation where you were not valued
Sharing your experiences will let people know
1. they are not alone
2. let others know what is possible for them!


Email me your responses tgn@antinettedevelops.com


Follow me on IG @bosstalkconvo.dapodcast


Join Private Facebook Group: Boss Talk Conversation


If you like this episode, please share it with your friends and family.


If you are looking for someone to speak to your audience on topics including but not limited to entrepreneurship, personal growth and development, trauma and resilience, domestic violence, self esteem, please email tgn@antinettedevelops.com


Thank you


Until next time

Entrepreneurship is Freedom

Being an entrepreneur means many things to me, but most importantly, I equate entrepreneurship with FREEDOM.

Happy Monday!

Entrepreneurship is Freedom

Being an entrepreneur means many things to me, but most importantly, I equate entrepreneurship with FREEDOM.

Happy Monday!

Soooooo….

I have always been passionate about ENTREPRENEURSHIP and BUSINESS.

I enjoy it so much that I quit my 9-5 in November of 2019, to become a full time entrepreneur!

I wanted to control my time, my money, and my lifestyle.

I wanted to be in 100% control of me and I believed entrepreneurship could get me there.

Matter of fact, I knew it could, So I QUIT!

However, I realized when making the leap, that I wasn’t alone when it came to envisioning a life of freedom, and being my own BOSS.

There were and are many people who shared with me that they wanted to be their own boss and control their own time but they were too scared to take the LEAP!

Now, I am not judging anyone, because taking the LEAP is hard work, believe me, I know.

However, being scared is an excuse and that FEAR is preventing you from living in your greatness!

The last few days I have been meditating on personal stories that I can share with you that will MOTIVATE, INSPIRE, and ENCOURAGE you to take the LEAP, if you haven’t done so already!

I am not saying that you should or have to QUIT, like I did.

What I am saying, is that you should not give up on your vision of being your own BOSS!

You can do it!

Put a plan in place and get it done!

Over the next few weeks, I will be sharing my entrepreneurial journey with you.

From the beginning to the end.

It is my hope that by the end of our time together. You decide to take the LEAP, if god put it on your heart to do so.

You can be anything you want to BE!

You have greatness within YOU!

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