Why I Am Going Back To Therapy & Why You Should Go To

Hey now!

I am giving it another try, I am taking my butt to therapy……AGAIN!

I tried going in 2019, however, it did not work out. I attended about 3-4 sessions and after the therapist kept showing up late, I ended our relationship.

Quickly after that I quit my job and I could no longer afford therapy anymore or so I thought.

Did you know that Medicaid pays for therapy? Yes they do!

When I was working, my sessions were close to $100, and now that I have Medicaid, my sessions are FREE!

I plan on taking full advantage of these free sessions for sure.

I really enjoyed going to therapy. It was one hair where I could spend 1 hour with an unbiased person talking my issues and my problems.

The first session…as soon as I opened my mouth, the tears started flowing. Second session I was told that I had anxiety and the sessions did not last too much longer after that.

Now I am going back and I am determined to find someone I can connect with and who can really support me and give me the tools that I need to get out of my own way.

This time I am being more specific with my search. I don’t just want any therapist.

 This time I would like my therapist to be a minority, preferably Black, a woman, and someone older than me.

Studies show that a person who has a helping professional who look like them, has a greater chance of being understood and being helped.

My last therapist was my age.

I felt like she was too comfortable. She was so comfortable to the point where she would cuss in our sessions. I am a cusser, but I feel that the professional is always supposed to maintain a certain type of professionalism.

This time, I am not only being more specific in my approach I am being more specific in my healing.

DISCLAIMER: I believe that every living person should see a therapist at least once. Commit to a few sessions and see what comes up for YOU!

The main reason I am seeking therapy this time around is because I suffered a great loss recently.

Grief is so crazy when dealing with a loss that is unexpected.

I didn’t think I would cry anymore since the last time I cried. I knew the thoughts would remain but I thought the emotional part was over.

I was wrong!

Literally 2 days ago I started crying and crying. I was cool. Then this song came on and I just busted out crying.

 That’s grief tho’.

I have to remind myself. It’s okay to feel emotions, but don’t stay in that sad place for too long.

I also want support in processing the fact that I “feel” I lost the last father figure I had.

I say feel because my “dad” is still alive but I don’t have the tools or will to rebuild that relationship honestly.

I think about  wanting to have a good relationship with my dad, but the relationship is inconsistent so I don’t know how to handle that.

I need help.

Last but not least, I need support in my relationships, platonic and romantic.

When it comes to communicating, intimacy, connecting.

 When you don’t have a relationship with the person(s) that birthed you.

When the people who gave birth to you literally neglect you and ignore you, it does something to you.

For me, to not feel that pain of the experiences I was dealing with in my life anymore I had to build BIG walls.

Walls that would support me in not feeling, reacting, or responding when I feel neglected, ignored, or any other emotion that does not make me feel good.

Those walls that I have built are now affecting the relationships that I am having as an adult.

It affects the self-talk that I have about certain situations.

It affect how I respond and react in situations and I believe that most of my thought could cease if I communicate but I don’t want to say the wrong thing in the wrong way sometimes.

If you know me personally you might say “No, not Nette.”

Most times I’m gone say what I want because that is how I was raised, but I really be sparing people man. Lol.

I don’t want to spare people and I don’t want to hurt people either, I just want to be heard and say what I have to say, in the most respectful way possible.

So that why I am going to therapy.

I want to show up as my best self every day and I know therapy will support me in doing that.

My first appointment is Monday!!

I am excited and I will surely be back to let you know how it went.

Are you someone who has experienced some form of trauma or have been involved in some type of drama that has affected you in a major way?

I encourage you to go to therapy!

Schedule that appointment.

It is time to take the necessary steps for you to heal so you can manifest the life you deserve.

Alright now.

Until next time…..

3 Ways to Pay Off Your Credit Cards

I don’t know about you but I hate debt.

It gives me anxiety.

I don’t like owing people.

I got my first credit card when I was 18.

My mom tried to warn me, but I didn’t listen.

At 18 I got every card I could think of and I maxed each one out.

I have paid that debt off since then, acquired more, and now I can say in the 2020, I was able to get all my credits down to less than $100 balance, during a pandemic.

In 2021, my goal is to maintain a low balance on my credit cards, while attacking my car payments. I also want to start attacking this school loan debt.

The golden rule is that you do not want your credit card to exceed 30% of the credit limit.

My goal is to definitely stay under that!

I was doing some research and I found that most people my age, 35 and under, have

  1. Student loan debt
  2. Credit Card debt

I know this was true in my life until I paid off my credit cards.

Today, I want to share what I did to pay off my credit card debt and leave you with some methods that can support you in paying off your debt as well.

Continue reading “3 Ways to Pay Off Your Credit Cards”

Heal Your Heart to Manifest and Maintain Your Desires

Before I share the messages the cards revealed this week, I think it’s only right that I give an update regarding last weeks predictions

Last, the cards stated that I would be receiving some news this week that would have me jumping for joy. I assumed I was going to get a phone call but I did NOT receive the phone call that I was referring to.

It’s cool though because I received other messages that had me jumping for joy!

  1. I was informed of an online training that led to funding opportunities that will allow me to expand my business. I reached out the contact on the call and I have a meeting scheduled for January 6, I will keep you updated!
  2. Also, one of my good friends and clients reached out to me and let me know of a resource/blessing that will support us in facilitating a project we are planning in 2021.

I was too hype!!

Outside of that, I have been taking the role as the leader in my life more seriously, not just in business but all areas.  Listening to my spirit and trusting my intuition.

I am officially on the board of Black Mothers in Power, an organization focused reducing the disparities that Black women face in maternal healthcare.

I have been engaging in a lot of positive self talk and trying my best to stay calm.

Now lets get into this week’s reading.

Continue reading “Heal Your Heart to Manifest and Maintain Your Desires”

The 4 Strategies You Need to Add to Your Goal Planning Process!

Hey Developers!

Happy Wednesday!

I hope this week is treating you well!

On this lovely Wednesday, I wanted to share with you 4 strategies that you MUST implement in your GOAL PLANNING process right now to ensure that you bring what it is that you envision into fruition!

Strategy #1 “Your Goal must be declared in PEACE”

One of thing that you must understand is that our natural state is PEACE. Anything decision that we make not based on the foundation of PEACE was not made by us but by that emotional trigger.

For example, you have Kareem and Malcolm who are both “smokers”.

Kareem has been considering quitting smoking for about a month now. He went from smoking 5 cigarettes a day and now down to one cigarette a day. He decides that today is the day he will quit.

Malcolm is a smoker as well. Malcolm is up late night watching television and he sees a commercial taking about the negative affects of smoking. He decides to stop smoking right then and there.

Who do you think will have better chance of not picking up at a pack of cigarettes again?

My money is on Kareem. He decision was made in overtime, with thought, and while he was at PEACE.

Malcolm decided to quit smoking based off of his emotions that were triggered by a commercial. Normally decisions/goals made when emotionally triggered do not last.

Strategy #2 “Your Goal must be in harmony with others “

Listen, I know what it is like, to want to make it to the “top” so you can sh** on the people who did not believe in you. I am human. I have my list lol. However, your goal cannot be based selfishly on the well being of you and only your come up.

Your goal cannot be founded upon hate, fear, desperation, manipulation if your goal to have longevity.

I am the founder of 2 business right now. The Stand and Antinette Develops. The purposes of my business are to make money, however, more importantly I want to create jobs, fund opportunities, make dreams come true.

How do others benefit from your dream?

Strategy #3 “You must make time to act on the success of others “

It is a must that you help others reach their success. We cannot have a crab in a barrel mentality and think that we are going to reach the goals that we set for ourselves. I believe this strategy is my favorite. I love it so much I made a business out of it.

I do not believe that by helping your light to shine, I am somehow dimming my own. That is a poor mans thinking and she is not poor!

There has been plenty of times while I am helping someone else WIN I meet someone who can get me a few steps closer to my goal.

If you want to WIN. Help others WIN!

Strategy #4 “You must expect it to happen”

This strategy seems easy but it is HARD! If you come from where I come from. You have experienced things not working out for you, more often than NOT. If you want to manifest your ideal life, you have to expect that you ideal life is going to happen. It is not your place to worry about how it is going to happen or when it is going to happen. Just focus on the fact that it is going to happen for you. God wouldn’t place a vision in you  that you were not able to manifest!

I hope you enjoyed this weeks message!

I need your help!

Please help me reach my goal of getting 100 subscribers by 4/30/2020!

That is literally tomorrow! As of 4/28/2020 at 8:27am I have 82 subscribers. I need 18 more!

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Much love!

Until next time…..

3 Ways You Are Holding Yourself Back From Living In Your Purpose & Reaching Your Goals!

Hey Developer!

Happy Wednesday! I hope this week is treating you well.

On the journey to your greatness and living in your purpose, you have to be careful of the number one enemy that can stop you from reaching your goals and living in your purpose and that enemy is…..

YOU!

The image that YOU have of YOU is stopping you from obtaining the peace that you deserve and moving forward with your goals.

Some of us think to highly of ourselves, while others don’t think of ourselves enough.

I want to share 3 reasons why your self-image is holding you back and what you can do about it.

The self-image is holding you back because it is

  1.  Based off the Ego– if you think to highly of yourself, you may be arrogant, cocky, self-centered. If you think to lowly of yourself, you may engage in behaviors that I call “easy to do” behaviors, like, fighting, being promiscuous, being in relationships that do not serve you.
  2. Developed between ages of 0-5– The foundation of who you are, was built between the ages of 0 to 5 years old. That is Social Work 101. You could live to 100 years old and your most critical years would still be ages 0-5, if you do not engage in the process of healing, this could be detrimental for some. We all have been through some trauma and drama. Revisit the younger you and the younger days and identify that in which you need to heal from. That person is there waiting for you.
  3. Based off the concrete mind– Your self-image is only focused on the physical. What you look like. The materials that you can obtain. The things that you can see. Concrete mind sees things as they are, and not as they could be.

“Your self-image can get you through the door, but it can’t help you do the work.”

As discussed in the article below

The self- image cannot help you overcome any challenges.

The self is devoid of matter and energy. It can do NOTHING without the spirit. The SELF image is the same way!

When it comes to your purpose, obtaining peace, developing habits, increasing your finances, and healing, your self-image can’t help you with none of that!

There are 2 images that need your attention, the HUMAN image and GODS image!

In order to live in our true purpose, we have to understand that we must replace the ideas about ourselves that derived from

our ego, the early part of out being, and our concrete mind

Take note:

  1. your thoughts (verbal or images) control the harmony that you may or may not have in your life. The harmony and or disharmony you have in your life will attract the physiological and social events you engage in.
  2. The set of ideas that you have about yourself (verbal statements that define who and what you are) determine our self-image. Our self-image controls the harmony that we may or may not have in our lives and the social and physiological events that we experience.

Don’t allow your self-image to hold you back any longer

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Until next time!